The Baking Adventures of Ibiki Morino
by Keirra
Summary: Everyone needs a hobby. Some people paint, some knit, and others collect novelty shot glasses. Ibiki Morino prefers to spend him time away from the bowels of T&I creating expertly crafted baked goods. Series of One Shots.
1. The Case of the Mysterious Sweets

**The Case of the Mysterious Sweets**

A/N : This may seem terribly random, but it is far from the oddest thing to be born from tumblr craziness. This time it's a headcanon about out favorite scarred interrogation expert: Ibiki Morino. Besides, everyone needs a hobby right?

* * *

The first time a platter of beautiful, pastel pink buttercream frosted chocolate cupcakes appeared in the T&I break room no one dared touch them. Food didn't just appear down there, and no one was stepping up to claim responsibility for them. No self-respecting ninja would take the chance that they were laced with something. Maybe not poison, but something unpleasant perhaps? Some members of the department remembered the time Umino Iruka had managed to slip laxatives into the water cooler in Anbu HQ.

It wasn't pretty.

The second time it was a tiered plate of cookies, sugar cookies immaculately decorated with royal icing to resemble various ninja tools. There was a note next to it, specifically stating that the cookies were not laced with anything.

Like they would fall for that.

It was the day a pumpkin pie appeared that someone finally cracked.

Genma couldn't take it, all these wonderful looking delicacies within reach, their sweet scents teasing his senses and making his mouth water enough it was hard to keep a hold of his senbon, and now this? Pumpkin? His favorite flavor of anything? Anyone who knew the man was aware of this obsession, in fall when all the special "pumpkin spice" items came out he was never seen without a pumpkin spice latte and even his house smelled faintly of the fragrance every store stocked in October.

Raido and Anko watched with baited breath as he cut himself a piece of pie, topped it with the whipped cream that had been left in the fridge, and took his first bite. Genma melted into his chair. It was the best thing he had ever tasted, and after declaring that even if he did die from it, it was worth it Anko and Raido followed suit.

When a few hours had passed and the three friends were still alive, the rest of the department descended on the remaining pie.

From that day forward, whenever baked goods appeared in T&I there were literal fights over them, particularly when Genma tried to go back for seconds before someone had their firsts, or when Anko tried swiping a bite of cake off someone else's plate.

Somehow, amid the chaos and sugar comas, none of the supposedly observant and skilled shinobi noticed Ibiki watching from the corner with a smile on his face.

A baker always loves seeing their creations be enjoyed after all.


	2. A Strange Homecoming

**A Strange Homecoming**

My second Ibiki the Cupcake Man offering and the first of him teaming up with all my main OCs (beucase those are coming, trust me) to make something wonderful. This time it is my OC Yui Nohara who you can check out on my tumblr Kunoichi-Ume if you want to know more about her. A story featuring Yui, her son Ryota, and her very long time coming romance with Kakashi will someday see the light of day. Besides this sneak peak this is not that day. My dear friend Lacey gets major thanks for the great apron idea, and not minding me using it in this piece.

* * *

Kakashi closed his eye tightly and counted to 10 before opening it again.

It didn't work.

Either that rogue Kiri-nin he fought earlier hit his head harder than he thought or he really was seeing Morino Ibiki standing in front of him and wearing a sunflower yellow apron that said "There will be No Bitchin' in My Fucking Kitchen".

But it wasn't his kitchen. It was Yui's.

Yet here he was, one hand steadying a large pink batter bowl, other hand moving quickly to whisk together whatever was in it like he owned the place. In fact if Yui wasn't standing behind Ibiki, her back to Kakashi and digging in one of the cabinets, he would think he was in the wrong apartment.

She turned around, several packages of cupcake liners in her hands, and smiled at him.

"Kakashi! Welcome home, did your mission go well?"

He nodded, before pointedly shifting his eye to the man standing next to his girlfriend and then back to her. Ibiki still hadn't acknowledged his presence, but he had set down the whisk and started sorting through the various liners Yui had set on the counter.

Yui rounded the counter and approached Kakashi. "Ibiki-san is helping me make treats for Ryo's class," She explained, "They took their second to last exam today and did so well Emiko-sensei talked Iruka-sensei into letting them have a party."

Kakashi mulled over her words for a moment as he bent over to press a quick, mask covered kiss to her striped cheek. It was good Ryo had passed his test but really he had expected nothing less. He had stolen the brat several times recently to do some one on one training with him.

But Ibiki? Baking? He knew T&I had some mystical, unidentified, sugar cookie, pumpkin pie bearing fairy god mother.

But Ibiki?

"And Ibiki is helping you make the treats?" He asked, skeptically.

"Yep," she said, tilting her head to the side slightly like she did when someone, usually Ryo, was treading on dangerous ground and needed to consider their answer to her question very carefully.

"Is there something wrong with that?"

Noticing Ibiki's gaze moving from where he was carefully pouring batter into the cups he had selected (they were lavender, with white polka dots) to give him a hard look that almost dared him to say there was, Kakashi shook his head.

"Maa," he said, casually waving his hand and he moved to sit at the table, "just hard to imagine after seeing what the man can do with a roll of dental floss, a mango and 7 stones to make an Iwa Jonin cry like a little kid."

"I still don't think he was really a jonin," Ibiki said, eyeing the cups carefully to make sure they were all even, "I hadn't even really gotten started when he spilled everything."

He grinned, the kind of smile a predator has before it rips out its prey's neck, "and I do mean everything."

Kakashi watched as, apparently satisfied with the level of batter in each cup, Ibiki swept them into the oven and set the timer Ryo had bought his mother for her last birthday.

If seeing Ibiki, in an apron, baking cupcakes was weird then watching him fiddling with a novelty egg timer was just too much for his tired brain to take in right now. It didn't help that the timer was a hot pink rooster.

He had been with Ryo when he picked it out, and he had tried to steer the boy to something less garish but the kid had a thing about violently bright colors.

Ibiki untied the strings of his apron and hung it on the same peg as Yui's cream colored one (complete with a caricature of a ninja and the words "Kitchen Ninja") before he started giving her instructions.

"Those need to bake for 10 to 12 minutes, so check them at 10 and see if your toothpick comes out clean when you stick it in the middle. If it does stick the next pan in. They will need to cool for exactly 10 minutes before you take them out of the pan to cool on the rack." He turned to address Kakashi, "I assume since you are back you got the guy?"

Kakashi nodded, his book already out and covering what little of his face was exposed normally, but the bob of his hair was answer enough to convey his answer.

"Good," the interrogator said, "I'll be back in a few hours to help you decorate them if you can finish baking them Yui-san?"

Yui smiled up at the tall man while Kakashi peeked over the top of his book to watch the exchange, "of course. Just let yourself in when you come back."

Ibiki nodded and quickly left the room, leaving Kakashi alone with his girlfriend for the first time in over a week. He pretended to read while she gathered up the dirty dishes and started rinsing them off in the sink. Before she could get too involved in the task of washing them however he was up, out of his chair, and standing behind her with his hands on her hips. He smiled into her thick brown hair at her small "eep" of surprise.

He breathed in deeply, the smell of her honeysuckle conditioner invading his senses and helping him release some of the after mission tension. He was _home_ , he was with Yui, and they were alone. Did things get any better than this?

Now to do something about the remaining tension in his body.

He reached out to still her hand, the one that was reaching for the tap.

"Why don't you leave those for a little while and welcome me home properly?" He asked, lifting his other hand to pull his mask down so he could start pressing kisses down the side of her neck once his proposition had been made.

She moaned softly, leaning back against him and he could feel her melting slightly under his ministrations. He smiled against her skin before moving to her ear and nibbling softly on her ear lobe and coaxing out a louder moan.

Yui spun around in his arms, hands grasping the front of his flak jacket and pulling him into a soul searing kiss.

When she pulled back a few minutes later, Kakashi was sure she was going to lead him to the bed room and let him act out his favorite Icha Icha scene, something she only gave into when the mood struck her just right. It wouldn't be the first time he got a special treat for not only coming home early, but uninjured.

So he was reasonably surprised when she pushed him away firmly and her expression hardened into the same look she gave her son when he was misbehaving.

"If these burn because you distracted me I promise I will physically throw you at Ibiki," she said, before giving him a cheeky smile, "For my personal safety's sake of course."

"Maa, don't be like that Yui, do you really think he would get upset over that?"

She shook her head, laughing softly, "Really Kakashi? Think about it for a moment, have you ever known Ibiki to be anything other than completely dedicated to his tasks?"

Kakashi shook his head, he had worked with the man often while he was in ANBU. Ibiki was a professional, through and through, and never half assed a task in his entire career.

"He is even more dedicated to his hobbies."

It was all Kakashi could do to keep from visibly gaping at her. As it was, he swallowed loudly, nodding his head and mumbling out a quick, "Fine, I'll be patient." He grabbed the edge of his mask, intending to pull it back up when Yui leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss against his lips.

"When I am done," she said, lips brushing against his with every word, "we can act out any scene you want. So choose carefully."

Kakashi smiled at her, knowing she meant every word, before quickly heading back to the bedroom to collect his other books. He only had a few hours to choose the perfect passage after all.


	3. Pi Day

**Pi Day**

In honor of Pi day, even if I am a little late (it is still Pi day in California, I am going to say that counts!) I wrote a little something about our favorite pie maker: Ibiki! That's right, he isn't just a cupcake master but a professional level pastry chef.

* * *

Everyone has that one holiday that speaks to them on a personal level, that one day of the year that makes the rest of the it worth dealing with. That holiday they are 100% down for, decorations, costumes, music, the whole nine yards.

Anko, for example, was probably the biggest Halloween fan in the village. She lived and breathed for the dark and macabre atmosphere of the season and usually had her costume plans for the big night thought out by May, at the very latest.

Genma was a Valentine's Day kind of guy and not just because it was easier to hit on girls who were desperate for a date (though if questioned that would be his reason). No, he was a hopeless romantic who loved the flowers, sappy songs and any good excuse for fancy dinner dates.

But some prefer less… showy holidays. Ones that were more a community acceptance than official holiday. After all, to those in the know, every day was national "something" day. From National Hangover Day (January 1st), to National Get Out of The Dog House Day (the third Monday in July) to National Whiners Day (December 26th) _everyday_ could be a holiday if you kept up with the extensive list of dates.

Ibiki was one who made it his business to always know what day it was. After all, there were so many wonderful baking opportunities to be had. January alone had National Cream Puff Day (2nd), Whipped Cream Day (5th), Shortbread Day (6th), English Toffee Day (8th), Bittersweet Chocolate Day (10th), Marzipan Day (12th), Blonde Brownie Day (22nd), Peanut Brittle Day (26th), Chocolate Cake Day (27th), and Croissant Day (30th). Ibiki's date book was meticulously organized and each date that related to baking had the day's title inscribed in the top right corner of the page.

Some of these days he liked more than others (December 15th - National Cupcake Day was always a big baking day for him), and some he chose not to celebrate at all (April 23rd, National Cherry Cheesecake Day he avoided due to his cherry allergy) but one of his all time favorites was March 14.

Also known as Pi Day.

There were other pie days of course, in fact the year had two National pie days on both January 23rd and December 1st. Specific pies had their 24 hours in the spotlight as well, such as Banana Cream Pie Day (March 2nd) and Pecan Pie Day (July 12th). August was host to five separate pie themed days in the course of it's 31 days.

But Ibiki liked Pi Day best. It gave him free rein of pies to bake for the day, and was an amusing pun. (Little known fact, Ibiki could never resist a good pun.)

Ibiki smiled as he closed his date book, the smell of baking crust and caramelized apples filling the air of his bright kitchen. The window was open, letting the delicate scents mingle with the flowery fragrance that came with early spring, and cooling the three pies that he had baked earlier. Lined up on the windowsill was a perfect blackberry lattice pie, an egg custard pie with a braided crust, and a sour cream strawberry pie. The various smells laced together were positively sinful and Ibiki honestly wasn't sure which he was the most excited to taste.

The timer sitting on the counter, a novelty item fashioned to look like a purple spotted bull mastiff (a gift from Kakashi he found on his desk not long after the masked man learned of his hobby) went off and the shrill beeping broke the quiet serenity of his home. Knocking the thing on the head to shut it up, Ibiki slipped on his oven mitts and quickly removed the pie.

He smiled as he inspected the pastry, the top crust perfectly golden brown and the Konoha Leaf he had cut into it had held it's shape beautifully while working as a steam vent.

A quick glance at the clock showed that he had more enough time for the pies to cool before he packed them up to take into the office for a late-night shift (that was assuming of course the Anbu squad was back on time with his next guest). While he was always a bit excited to share his creations with others, he couldn't possibly eat all of these on his own after all, he could almost hear Genma's griping about the lack of a pumpkin pie in his mind.

Ibiki turned from the window, having moved the apple pie to join the others to cool, and decided that he really didn't want to spend the night listening to the senbon chewing ninja bitching about his need for a pumpkin spice fix. Reaching for his cookbook he mentally thanked his mother for teaching him a very important lesson about baking.

 _Always have extra ingredients on hand because you never know when you will need to satisfy a craving (even if it isn't your own)._


End file.
